Perhaps the most practical of the NLP Presuppositions is that “People work perfectly to get the results they get.” To many people, this seems extremely obvious, at least on the surface. It is very similar to Einstein’s statement that “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.”
When you really explore this presupposition, it applies at many levels. If you wake up in the morning, and habitually experience an emotional state that you don’t like, then this presupposition would have us assume that you are doing something in your mind to contribute to that experience, largely unconscious, and automatic.
For example, I once worked with someone who habitually started out her day feeling confused and agitated. This feeling began her day every day, and it was usually ten in the morning or so before she was able to move out of it. We worked together to help her pay attention to what pictures, words, and other experiences she had when she first woke up that had been outside of her awareness. She discovered that when she first woke up, she had an automatic statement running through her head before she was even awake. It said, “I don’t understand.” It was her internal mantra before she even went to the bathroom!
With some NLP work, she learned how to first listen for, and confront the dialogue, then change it, and she was able to create a positive emotional state and some motivation right away.
It isn’t just what you say and think to yourself. If there is any area of your life in which you aren’t getting what you want, you work perfectly to get the results you get, rather than the results you want. One of your challenges will be that what you are doing is largely unconscious, and you may be unaware of the part of your behavior which sabotages you. It will take working with someone else to identify what you are actually doing, rather than what you think you are doing. This works because there are things others cans see about us that we can’t see in ourselves. A part of our behavior is always unconscious and it often takes someone else to bring it to our awareness.
Another challenge is the allure of the familiar. A part of your brain is attracted to that which is familiar, even though it might be killing you. So you eat, smoke or do other things which damage you, and you want to do something different. You start behaving differently, and then become uncomfortable with the change, and go back to your old behaviors, in spite of the fact you know it isn’t good for you. In this case, you work perfectly to try new things, sabotage yourself and go back to the old behaviors until you probably give up. As in the case of my client, you will probably need someone to help you identify what you are doing, and how to do it differently if the change is going to succeed.
So if you are trying to make changes that don’t work, talk to friends, others who have succeeded, coaches, or perhaps an NLP practitioner to help you identify what you are actually doing and change it.